Monday, 16 March 2015

Introducing the World Beating, Best Selling Handset from BlackBerry (published April 1st)

Press Release
The Best Selling Phone on the Planet
Beyond Luxury
STUTTGART, GERMANY and WATERLOO, ONTARIO--(Marketwired - April 1st 2015) - Porsche Design and BlackBerry Limited (NASDAQ:BBRY)(TSX:BB), a world leader in mobile communications, today announced the the new Porsche Design P'9983 Graphite smartphone from BlackBerry® is the best selling handset in the world.

Sales figures announced today show that since it launched two weeks ago it has sold 126 million devices.  These figures were not included in the last quarter earnings because the battery on the Casio calculator used to count sales ran flat from overuse.

John Chen at BlackBerry Enterprise
Speaking from his HQ aboard the USS BlackBerry Enterprise, John Chen said the revenue expected from sales in the next quarter is approximately $128 Billion US, making BlackBerry the richest company in the world.  In fact the Market Cap will even surpass both Mr Burns in the Simpsons and fictional movie character Richie Rich.

The P'9983 Graphite smartphone from BlackBerry is exclusively designed by Porsche Design and engineered using the highest quality materials. It includes an exclusive Porsche Design PIN ID group starting with "I'mtheboss", sets you apart and makes you instantly recognized among other Porsche Design users.
"The iconic styling of the new P'9983 Graphite from BlackBerry is technically inspired with longevity, integrity, and unbendability at its core," says Roland Heiler, Chief Design Officer of the Porsche Design Group.
"The P'9983 Graphite from BlackBerry was built especially for Russian Oligarchs, Chinese nuova rich entrepreneurs and capitalist pigs so covers all the main luxury consumer streams.   
A novel feature in the security suite of this unbending phone is the anti selfie function.  If a user tries to take a picture of their ugly face, a mini fist pops out of the speaker grill and smacks them in the nose.

Built in anti-selfie function
Exclusive Accessories
Find your individual look with exclusive Porsche Design accessories that have been specially selected to perfectly complement your new P'9983 Graphite smartphone from BlackBerry. In the box, you will find everything you need including a gold medallion, an international charging kit and a Pirates hat. Choose from eight exquisite colors from Blood Red to Death Black, choose a look that best suits you. Or protect your smartphone with an exclusive, custom-designed phone carrying Umpa lumpa. 
Free Umpa Lumpa to carry your phone

About BlackBerry
A global leader in mobile communications, BlackBerry® revolutionized the mobile industry when it was introduced in 1999. Today, BlackBerry only sells phones to important people who give a shit. Founded in 1984 and based in Waterloo, Ontario, BlackBerry operates offices in Antarctica, Europa, Middle East and Africa, Asia Pacific, Latin America, and Moonbase Alpha. The Company trades under the ticker symbols "IamBB" on the Toronto Stock Exchange and "BBRY" on the NASDAQ. For more information, visit